The Life Of Daniella Dixon
by Emmylove1
Summary: Daniella Dixon never thought she had a good life. When her brother gets handcuffed to a roof and left for dead while dead people are not staying dead, she confirms it. This is her story of how she manages to stay alive and face the drama of the new world all while unraveling her past and facing the fact that the dead isn't the only thing to be feared. a lil racism and cursing
1. Chapter 1

It finally dawns on me that merle isn't coming back.

I then realize Daryl might not come back. I lost my family.

Before anyone can explain to me or try to give me a hug, I run, run to my tent and sob quietly into my pillow.

I sit awake listening to everyone talking about Lori's husband. Daryl didn't return yet, even though I have faith in him and know it's unlikely he is dead; I can't help but think there's a slim chance he'll come back.

"Merle" "get your ugly ass out here" Daryl's voice jolts me awake as I quickly unzip my tent and go find the middle Dixon child.

"Daryl, slow down I gotta talk to you" Shane says to my brother "about wha?"

"about Merle" "there was a problem in Atlanta " I see pain flash my brother's face as he looks at me to confirm what the man was telling him and I nod once before looking down.

Apparently he doesn't believe me because he asks "he dead?"

"I'm not sure" I become confused and wonder how they wouldn't know if he was dead. I step near Daryl "what do ya mean, either he is or he isn't" I tell him glaring at everyone who went on the scavenging trip. The new guy- whose name I didn't bother to learn- steps up "there's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it". "Who the hell'ru?" Daryl asks him, clearly agitated at what was going on, as was I.

"Rick Grimes" "Rick Grimes" my older brother repeats, venom dripping in his voice "you got sumtin you wanna tell me?"

I brace myself for whatever he's about to say. "Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed on a roof, hooked him onto a piece of metal". This is not what I was expecting and my anger starts to bubble up inside and I close my hands into very tight fists. I hear rick continue "he's still there".

Daryl turns around in a circle "hol'on" he says wiping off the sweat off his face with his arm. "Le'me process this" "you're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof, AND YOU LEFT HIM THERE".

"Yeah" rick mumbles, either he's scared or ashamed. If I was him I would be running about now. Now wanting to deal with my brother's tantrums, along with mine.

Daryl chucks some squirrels at Rick and he ducks out of the way. I feel skinny arms around me "GET OFF" I yell as I struggle against what I assume to be Lori's arms.

Shane tackles Daryl causing them both to fall over. "GET OFF ME, NOW!" I can't break free of her grip as the other woman try to help calm me down. Daryl gets up and takes out his hunting knife and slashes at rick. He and Shane double team him and he is put in a choke hold.

"Daryl!" I scream as I watch him struggle. "YOU BEST LET ME GO" "nah, I think this is better" "CHOKEHOLD'S ILLEGAL" Daryl continues to rant on "file a complaint".

I continue to try and break free of the woman's grasp as Rick bends over "I'd like to have a-"he never got to finish.

I bite down on Lori's arm and she immediately let's go, I brace myself and take charge using all my strength and I collide with Rick, he falls and I steady myself before carefully kicking Shane in the face, trying not to hit my brother, unfortunately graze his head with my heel. "Shit Daniella" Daryl yells getting out of Shane's grasp, before he can react Shane has me in his arms and is pulling me back away from Rick so he can speak to Daryl. "You best be letting me go for I kick ya in a worse place" I yell to him squirming around and snapping my jaws dangerously close to his ears.

"Let her go!" my brother says advancing towards me and Shane. Rick steps in front of Daryl and starts to talk "let me talk to you and then we'll let her go" "she's being reckless, kicking people in the face". "Almost exactly like Merle"

"Let me down Shane, and I swear I ain't going to do nothin else, just put me down" I wait for his answer, "can't do that". Not happy with my response I start snapping my jaws similar to a walker. "What I did was not on a whim" "your brother does not work or play well with others". I scoff and wait for him to say more, but instead I hear t-dog "it's not Rick's fault" "I had the key, I dropped it" "wowww" I say finally giving up and let myself be held by Shane's arms. "Ya couldn't pick it up?" Daryl asks him obviously still angry, "I dropped in it a drain" I roll my eyes "nice going milk dud". Everyone stares at me with a look of disbelief and disgust, "got a problem?" "Les even it up kay half of ya are Caspers and the other half err powdered donuts" "insulted ma own kind, happy?"

Everyone turns their attention to t-dog "I chained the door to the roof so the geeks couldn't get at him, with a padlock". I know my brothers and I know Daryl was upset and angry but I didn't think he would start to cry "gotta count for something" Rick tells him attempting to make him feel better. "To hell with ya'll just tell me where he is so I can go get'im". "He'll show you" Lori says from the RV doorway "isn't that right?" she says addressing Rick he nods "I'm going back".

I expected Shane to let go of me but he kept a firm hold on my body. I felt very uncomfortable and called Daryl's name "let her go". Shane released his arms and I jumped at him earning a laugh.

"Can you believe them assholes?" I ask my brother as I catch up to him. "No" "that's why I'm going to get Merle and bring him back so we can leave". I stop in my tracks "leave?" he stops to then turns her head to look at me "yeah, leave" "you gone death girl?" he asks as he continues to walk.

"YES!" I yell as I swing at my annoying older brother, he dodges it and grabs at my wrist. "NO!" I struggle to pull free "I'm goin, he's my brother to" " AN YOUR MY LIL SISTER AN IM NOT LETTIN YOU GO" "DARYL YOU MAY THINK IM A KID BUT IM NOT AND I MAKE MY OWN DECISION, IVE BEEN DION IT SINCE MERLE LEFT HOME AND YOU GAVE UP ON ME".

I struck a nerve, crossed a boundary, I regret what I said but I know I can't take it back he wouldn't care. Daryl throws down my wrists in disgust and starts to walk away but stops and turns around and comes closer to me. He puts his finger in my face I flinch away expecting his other hand to raise and he backs off, again walking away but not before saying "you know I didn't give up on ya and I got hundreds of scars to prove it" "you ain't a kid, and I know that but you're staying here and I'm not letting ya go"


	2. Chapter 2

"_DANIELLA" I hear my father call my name and I run downstairs "yes" "what is that noise" "what noise?" "Upstairs". I look upstairs and shake my head "there is no noise" he gets up and grabs my arm "tell me what that noise is now!" it's the puppy I found, it was a stray and I've been keeping it and taking good care. Of course I couldn't tell him that he'll only end up making me get rid of it or he'll just kill it. "I'm playin a game" "what game?" I hurry to think of something "dance" he smiles a creepy and sick smile "show me" he says letting go of my arm. I don't know what to do, I start to move my hand in a weird motion when a noise makes me freeze- a bark- "what the hell" my father stands up and grabs me again pulling me to my room._

"_No, no please" he opens my door and my puppy runs to me. He lets out a yelp when a foot hits its stomach and it goes flying back "NO" I try to run to him but there's a firm grip on my upper arm is keeping me in place. I'm pulled to where the dog is and I'm let go, the terrifying man bends down and picks it up with one hand then grabs me with the other._

_I know he's going to shoot it and I know he's going to make me watch. My prediction comes true as we go outside gun in his hand. I start to cry silently as he lets me go and drops my dog to the ground, I close my eyes and cover my ears waiting for the horrible moment to end._

_I can still hear the gunshot and when I do a sob escapes my lips because I know what is going to happen next. I'm going to pay the consequences for lying. I run away as he looks down at me when I get in the house I start screaming "MERLE!" "MERLE!" "DARYL!" "DARYL!" My father catches me and he raises the belt in his hand I back away and scream._

"Get out the truck" I look up and see my older brother standing over me "make me Dixon" "no" "okay then" I say smiling. "You're gonna risk your life for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?" I hear Shane say from outside "ay choose ya words more carefully" "oh yeah I did, douche bags what I meant" I turn upside down and stick my head out the truck "are ya sure ya mean douche bag? I thought the definition was Shane Walsh, which surely ain't my brother"

"No the definition is Merle Dixon wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dyin of thirst"

"what he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me, I can't let a man die of thirst , thirst and exposure" "we left him like an animal caught in a trap that's no way for anything to die let alone a human being"

I laugh "yeah you tell him cowboy, cas you ain't the one that hancuffed him". Shane continues to argue with Rick about risking four men: Glenn, t-dog, Rick, and Daryl.

"hey four men and a girl, I didin think I was that forgettable". Now Lori is speaking up "you went through to find us, you just got here and now you're gonna turn around and leave" "Shane is right, Merle Dixon?" "Cherish the name sweetie" "would you just shut it Daniella" "make me Dixon". I move my hand in a circular motion "continue" I tell those Shane smiles and shakes his head then turns back around.

The horn beeps "let's go" "come here Dixon" "stop callin me that" "I said come here Dixon". "Daniella shut it" "beg on ya knee's maybe you'll get an answer" "what is wrong with ya today".

"well my brother got left on a roof, and the other got doubled teamed by two police officers, and I'm constantly watching my back for geeks" "what's up with you" he laughs. I turn my head and watch as Shane give's Rick some ammo. "le me see that crossbow" "nah" "please" "nope" I stick up my middle finger.

We finally leave camp. "he better be okay that's my only word on the matter" I stare at t-dog "I told you I bolted up the door the geeks can't get to him, if anyone is getting through that door it's us" Daryl looks at him then wipes his mouth with a rag he was using to clean his arrows with. "gross" I say as I kick him playfully. The truck stops Glenn turns around "we walk from here" everyone stands up "hey Dixon a little help here" my brother just looks at me I stand up "what a brother ya are, why Merle's ma favorite". We get out the truck and start down the railroad tracks.

We get to a gate and Glenn pulls it open "me first!" I step through and then watch as everyone else comes through. "Merle first or guns" at the same time me and my brother say "Merle" then Daryl says "we ain't even havin this conversation" "we are" I step in front of Ricks path "we ain't". "Merle's closest if we get the guns we have to circle back" Glenn says as we jog.

We make it to a department store and we quietly creep through. We come across a walker and rick motions for Daryl to take it out, Daryl goes to the walker and aims "damn, you are one ugly skank" he shoots it and as he makes his over I say "damn, you are one idiot".

We run upstairs to the roof and once were up there T-dog cuts the bolts and Daryl kicks open the door. "Merle!", "Merle!" we both scream. We run to the pipe and find no merle Daryl sniffs and screams "no" repeatedly while I break down and fall to the ground crying.

There's blood everywhere a saw and a hand, my brothers hand. Daryl aims his crossbow at t-dog and rick holds puts his gun to Daryl's head. "NO" I run and jump on his back "you're not gonna take both of my brother's" "Daryl put it down" I yell overwhelmed by my feelings. When Daryl still holds It up I jump off Rick's back and push Daryl as hard as I can, he stumbles and lowers the crossbow as I take out my own gun "I'll shoot you all trust me I will" I say in tears when no one moves I drop my gun and drop to the ground "Merle you bastard".

"you got a doo rag or something" Daryl asks T-dog and he hands him a bandana. Daryl grabs my brother's hand and puts it inside Glenn's book bag. I don't listen to anything any one says anymore but I can hear It as Daryl's voice.

Everyone starts to follow the trail but I stay put. I feel Daryl's hands on my shoulder and I shrug them off. "c'mon" "no" "I said c'mon" "and I said NO" "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE DARYL" I say on the verge of tears. Glenn stays with me, so I have protection I don't need.

Merle left me again; he left me when I needed him most. Glenn sat next to me on the ground and I grabbed his collar and pulled his face to mine. His breathing became fast and heavy. I looked behind me thinking there were walkers but then I realized he thought I was going to kiss him or he was scared.

"why did you let that ass hole handcuff my brother to a roof?" I said pain and hurt obvious in my voice "don't answer it, just shut up" he nodded and I let him go "that was my brother my flesh and blood, some new guy shows up and you let him cuff him to roof" I scoff "you think I won't kill him?" he shakes his head then nods it. "I will, Glenn I will kill him. I will hurt anyone who comes between me and Daryl okay so let your lit-le friend Rick that I won't hesitate to send a bullet through his brain" he nods to me and I crawl away from him and over to Merle's blood and I scream. I start punching the rooftop but immediately regret it because now my knuckles are bruised and bloody probably broken. I scream and cry in pain and Glenn comes to help me and Daryl runs upstairs Rick and T-dog following behind.

Worse day ever.

The finale OMG I can't wait this one minute till it starts. Review what you think of the chapter bye


	3. Chapter 3

OMG! So yeah I updated my other stories and now I'm gonnna do a long chapter for not updating. But seriously my fingers went like cripple. I couldn't move them and my doctor had to put both my hands in a casts. Weird right? Let's get on with this chapter which I had to watch 'Vatos' three times to write

I feel hands on my arms and I quickly pull away. "It's me, Daryl" I hear my older brothers voice in my ear and I stand up. Wiping away my tears I walk away from the four men and regain my composure.

"I'm ready" I say my voice slightly cracking. Rick comes over to me and I back up not wanting to be around him. He follows me until I'm against the wall. He holds his hand out motions towards my gun. I glare at him as I remove it and push it into his hands "I can still kill with a huntin' knife" I say fiercely and then stomp over to my brother.

"This is what I wan'ed your crossbow for" I say as if I was never angry. I lick my thumb that doesn't have blood on it and rub it where the word Horton is. "Look" I say slightly turning it towards him. I laugh at his angry expression and quickly explain myself "I was younger when I did that". I showed him my name inside the H with tiny and sloppy letters. I was writing on all my brothers stuff because I barely had stuff of my own. Writing on things made me feel like they were mine and no one could take it away. I was six when I did that and I remember trying to draw on Merle and Daryl when they were sleep. But considering the fact they are both really light sleepers I never got a chance. Now look, Merle was taken away from me. Call me superstitious but I need to write on Daryl.

"Damn it Daniela!" he yells and walks away rubbing at the pen mark. Soon we follow the blood trail back downstairs. Surprisingly I still don't have my gun and I'm ordered to stay in back, which I object to but Rick and Daryl both shot me looks that said no messing around. I walked in front of Glenn and T-dog and behind Rick and Daryl.

Apparently the men didn't get far before I started screaming because we get to a kitchen where the stoves on and the blood ends. He cauterized it. Glenn doesn't know this right away so he asks rock and is completely grossed out when he hears the answer. I know exactly what flesh being burned feels like from past experiences so it doesn't faze me.

"Nobody can kill Merle but Merle" Daryl says snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Don't take that out on faith, he's lost a lot of blood" Rick disagrees.

"Didn't stop him from bustin' out of this death trap" Daryl says walking around a corner. I follow him closely until we reach a broken window that has a bloody rag underneath.

"He left the building. Why the hell would he do that?" Glenn says behind me examining the window. "Why wouldn't he. He's out there alone, far as he knows. Doin' what he's gotta do, survivin'" Daryl answers walking away with me following close behind.

I wonder if my brother is capable of speaking regular. His accent is getting on my nerves even though I sound the same. I rejoin the group when I hear Daryl screaming "get your hands off me". I roll my eyes "Rick you really wanna do this again?" I ask stepping to my brother's side. He ignores me and continues to argue with my brother "its family, I get that. I went through hell to find mines. I know exactly how you feel"

I scoff "but you don't, Merle was handcuffed and left for dead apparently and Shane took really good care of your family" I say stepping towards him with my eyes narrowed. Daryl must have realized what I was implying and he tells me "back off". I walk away and let them finish their conversation.

"That's the tank" Glenn explains placing the paper clip on the make shift map of the city. "That's the bag of guns, five blocks from where we are now" he continues putting a crumpled sticky note next to the paper slip. "Remember that alley I dragged you in? That's where me, Daryl and Daniela will go"

"Why me?" me and Daryl both ask unison. "Your crossbow is quieter than his gun and Majesty runs as fast as me and we can cover each other" Glenn answers looking at me. "Hold on" I say putting my hand up "Rick am I allowed having my gun?" he considers this then shakes his head. "There's an ax in the department store".

I sigh and leave back to the roof. I search the department store and find nothing so I go to the storage room. A horrible stench fills my nose and I cover it with my shirt. There's a chopped up walker down there and a bloody ax. I shrug and grab it with my bare hands. It's sticky.

I drag it back and then realize I won't need it if I'm going to be running. They explain the plan to me. It sucks. I'm going to run back to Daryl while Glenn runs to T-dog and Rick two blocks away. I have to lead the walkers away from him and to me and Daryl. Yeah, it sucks.

The three of us go down the ladder and I hold up the ax and Daryl does the same with his crossbow. We run behind a garbage can and I lower the ax and get ready to run. "Be careful" Daryl says pushing me in front of him.

While Glenn and I get ready he says "you got some balls for a china man"

"I'm Korean" Glenn replies sounding annoyed. "Whatever" he says back and Glenn motions for me to come on. We run out the alley and stealthily make our way through the streets. We pass a car and I notice the walker start to turn to us.

"New plan I run out lead them towards me and you grab the stuff" I whisper. I run out before he can argue and run in a circle. All the geeks turn and follow me and out of the corner of my eye I can see Glenn grabbing the bag and running my way. "what are you doin'?" I yell still running. "It's blocked" he answers my question causing some geeks to turn around.

Glenn manages to catch up to me and we run side by side. I admire him because he is running just as fast as I am even though he's carrying a hat and bag full of guns. I can run faster but I don't feel like it. I can't explain why but Glenn next to me fells safe.

When we reach the alley I close the gate even though the geeks are far behind. Daryl is being jumped by two spics. "Daryl!" they turn around and point to the bag of guns. Glenn drops the hat and turns around. I'm torn to help my brother or Glenn but I don't have a choice because one of them grabs me and the other hits Glenn. I call my brother's name again and struggle with the Spanish man holding much like I did with Shane.

I continue to struggle against his tight grip on my waist. My brother lifts his crossbow but a young boy underneath him pushes it down causing those two to fight. Me and Glenn are screaming for Daryl while they drag us out of the ally and towards a car. He puts me and Glenn into the backseat of the car. I hear my brother scream my name and then we pull off.

Glenn and I struggle against the two men on top of us. I scream as loud as I can. My vocal cords are going to make me pay for that later. Over the yelling of Spanish I hear blindfold them and the next thing I see is black.

I know I know not a long chapter but hey I didn't update since the finale so this is a blessing I got this done.


	4. Chapter 4

I haven't seen you guys in forever! I've been slacking off this story and not writing good chapters and I'm happy to say that ends here! Enjoy

Emmy

I hang my head as four arms hold my arms together while one handcuffs me. I put up a fight, more than Glenn, and they had to restrain me. My day has just been getting worse and worse. I feel he sudden urge to cry.

_Dixons don't cry girl. Ya know tha'. I know it hurt ta lose big brother but ya can't be cryin' over everythin' girl. Ya hear me?_

Merle's voice flashed through my mind and I stood up straighter remembering the saying I learned at 2. Sniffling, I bent my hands back and dug my nails into the two men's hands. They yelped and let go. I laughed, regaining my fire.

_Tha's it girl. Now use ya brain. Be smart and get the hell outa there. Don' let them hurt ya. You gotta be me and your shithead brother Daryl and you combined. You got this. After all, ya learned from the best._

My brother encouraged me again and I started struggling again. I kicked and thrashed and tugged my arms away from my capturers. A gun cocking got me to stop moving though.

"_Voy a tirar esta pirar" _a voice rang out and I wished I could speak Spanish because right then I didn't know if he just said he was going to shoot me or someone else, but I still stopped struggling all at once.

My hands were tied and I was led up steps. I was placed in a chair and tied down.

"G will be here soon. Try anything and its-" another gun cocking informed me what he meant and I shrugged.

I waited there. While I waited I wondered where my brothers were. They could both be walker chow right now for all I know.

_Girl, ya know Daryl would never let himself get killed when you're still out there and got no one to protect ya._

"Merle, he's left me before. Just like you did. I can protect myself. Don' need ya or Daryl. You know tha'. You left me again, as a matter of fact and since you know Daryl ain't dead how 'bout tellin' me where ya are." I argued out loud with the eldest Dixon child.

No reply came.

"Exactly. Guess I'm the only Dixon left. Now ya both left me. I'm SCARRED! TOO MUCH ABANDONMENT CAN HURT! NO! IT DOES HURT!" I found myself shaking to the bone with anger and yelling at the ceiling.

"Interesting," I heard a Hispanic draw from the other side of the room and I blushed out of embarrassment. My blindfold was removed and I opened my eyes and something down low was in my face. I rocked back in the chair and screamed.

"lo sentimentos. Pero al menos etababa cubierto. Noquiere polla en su carta," he said in Spanish and I recalled what the men said earlier.

"_Voy a tirar esta pirar_," I said slowly and carefully to the Hispanic man in front of me. I assumed he was "G". I took in the room. It looked like a hospital room. Plain white; bed; tile floor; chair.

"You know you just said you were going to shoot this bitch. And you pronounced the words wrong," he informed. I glared at him and struggled with my hands.

"You're lucky I'm tied up. If I wasn't you be laid out on the floor," I threatened him, trying to get up with the chair.

"guess I'm lucky then," he said, reaching out a hand to me. Then he looked down as I struggled to get up. "ooohhh. My bad."

I growled. "How bout untyin' me," I asked politely, hiding my anger.

"Nope. I wouldn't want you to lay me out." He smirked and I cursed myself for making that comment.

"Why are you even in here?"

"I have to ask you why you tried to steak my bag of guns," he informed then waited for me to awnser.

"I don't know. I as just there to get my brother. Atlanta is a dead city. Yeah, they weren't your guns. They belonged to sheriff Rick. That's why it said sheriff on the bag and he was wearin' the uniform."

"They were in the street. So they were anybody's. Mine's.

"You make no sense. You just said they were anybody's. We got'em first if that's how you want to play."

"Wel-"

Someone barged into the room and interrupted him "G, there back again."

My ears perked up at this news because I had a feeling just who 'they' were.

"_vendarle los ojos. Llevarlos a la azotea_," he commanded the other guy in Spanish. The man came straight for me and I got prepared to fight for my life. All he did was blindfold me and start to lead/ man handle me somewhere. I heard Glenn quivering and I felt happy that I was about to die with him even if I was going to die.

I started wondering what G had said in Spanish to the guy. As we went up more stairs I called out to Glenn, who at the sound of my voice, let out a relieved breath and said a plain, "hi."

We were lead up more steps and then the hot Georgia wind hit my face along with the sun. I thought at first were gonna be given back but then they removed our blindfolds and I looked down.

I was about to fall to my death in front of my brother.


	5. Chapter 5

Crying was not an option. So I went for a more dignified baby sister approach. I mouthed, I love you.  
Then I heard that damn voice again.  
Listen here girl, you ain't dying today. They're using you. Don't show any fear; just stand there nice and tough.  
I do as I'm told. Again were taken downstairs as the men from our group leave.  
"We ain't gonna hurt you, chica. You look like your still in a training bra and, well, we can't do anything with your ass that will satisfy us, Even though it's a little big."  
Okay yeah, I was offended. The fire in me had not burned out, though. "And what will your tiny dicks do for me?"  
They untied my hands and told me I wasn't free but I could walk around.  
I met up with Glenn and we walked around, finding out the place was an elderly home and the men were taking care of them.  
Sweet, really, But I didn't give a fuck. I was finding a way out, with or without Glenn.  
If I jumped down from the window that leads to the back of the building, Men on the roof could shoot me.  
I studied them. Every 30 minutes for five minutes or so, they would move and switch men or get something to drink to cool them from the Georgia sun. During those five minutes, I could jump, recollect myself, and then go over the fence, With Glenn right behind me.  
I explained to Glenn.  
"We have no weapons in case there are walkers."  
"We can take some blunt objects. Like somethin' from downstairs. We stay around the buildin' but out of sight wait till we see Rick and them, tell em' we escaped and we don't lose our guns or men."  
"It's too risky."  
"Then bye cuz I'm goin'."  
"You'd leave me here?" he asked so helplessly I couldn't say yes. I don't ever leave a man behind, unless he's bit or a walker.  
Time flew by so fast. Sooner than Glenn and I knew, we were saved and, even though we lost guns, there was no fight.  
Here we are now tryin' to get figure out who stole our truck. We decided on Merle.  
" Daniela, there ain't no time to go back. We can't get caught at night in Atlanta. Let's go," Rick ordered.  
"My brother could still be out there, alive, one handed. What if it was Shane or Lori, you bitch. You'd fucking scour the damn city even it ain't your god damn fault, even if you knew they were dead you'd look for a corpse."  
"Daniella."  
Daryl warned. My name once was something every other Dixon man did to warn me when I over stepped my boundaries. As the only girl after my momma died, it was hard to grow up. But I did, surrounded by boys. Sometimes, as my dad said when he liked me, I can act like a boy and think I'm one. I was later told by Merle I was a lesbian. I want sure what that was until Daryl explained four days later. Then I got Merle in trouble when I told my dad and that day I was haunted by Merle's Cries of pain and my dad's voice yelling and the sound of a belt hitting flesh. It was worse because I had caused it and it wasn't me being hit.  
I thought about that as we walked through the woods towards camp. Then gunshots were heard and all five of us ran, taking out our weapons.  
Whenever I killed walkers I had to think about the time Merle set up a shooting range in the woods.  
Daryl was learning to shoot at twelve. I was seven. Merle stole walkie talkies and told me, "That fucker is passed out drunk. I'm takin' Daryl out to learn to shoot with the bastard's gun. He'll kill us if we get caught so I need ya to watch him and if he starts fidgeting say 'code fifty' and then hide the walkie talkie and stall him so he don't find the gun missing or us."  
I agreed of course. Gunshots made me jump every five seconds and my eyes stayed glued to my father. Finally after two hours they came back.  
Daryl had a wide smile on his face and I became jealous he got to go out. So I complained to Merle and a week later I was shooting beer cans and bottles.  
I didn't take three days of training to master shooting like my brother, but it took me a month before I could hit every target without missing.  
Sometimes I would miss when shooting walkers because I wasn't angry. I don't know why but being happy made me miss a lot. So that explains my constant angry mood. So many things remind me of my childhood. I force myself to remember things just so I can be in an angry mood so I people don't look at me as a wounded animal but a predator, who shows no mercy and will not open up and be allowed to be taken care of. I do not set myself up for failure. **Ever**.  
The last of the walkers are shot and I look around slowly. The blonde sisters are at the side of the RV. One is dead and the other one who has a big mouth is crying. Everyone else, but Daryl and I, are at the RV huddled together behind the men with guns. I recognize some faces on the ground, but they're just dead fuckers to me.  
Now, as I try to sleep, I think about myself. Just me and who I am.  
I have a heart, trust me, but I think, to save myself from pain I don't need, I put it in a chest and lock it with five padlocks. Of course, before I did that I had to put some things in there. Like Daryl, Merle, dogs, hunting, melee weapons, hard liquor, Allison Dawson and Robert Lopez.  
He was my first and last boyfriend. He dumped me because of my family, which now that I think about it, it probably want a good idea to take him to meet the men of my household.  
I was dating a Puerto Rican. My racist dad and brothers did not look past that.  
My dad was drunk and Merle was just, Merle. I guess Daryl didn't give the boy a hard time. No, yeah, he did.  
Spic was Roberts's nickname. So was Pussy.  
We left after twenty minutes of verbal abuse. He said he couldn't go out with someone who had a racist and rude family. The girl was a best friend of mine who went to college. Allison looked past my grammar, family, hunting, and rudeness. My every bad quality. She was new and I just had to be her guide because the principal loved to torture me. She's probably dead now, if she didn't remember every survivalist tip I gave her.  
At one point in time, after Merle came back from jail he decided to get an apartment and stay away from my father. This also meant staying away from Daryl and I. Years later Daryl moved in with Merle. I had seven more years to go. After those painful years, me and Allison got jobs as cashiers. Allison was much more attractive than me in the face and body. With her C38 and long hair and that hourglass shape, she was irresistible. I kept her away from Merle.  
We got an apartment across from a, place called booze and beauties. There were stripers and it was a pub.  
Allison was offered a job. It came down to me having to work with her. I thought about it. How awkward would it be, for my brothers to find this place and see me dancing and serving drinks in very skimpy outfits?  
I said no but Allison begged and pleaded until I almost shot her with my old longbow. So I said yes.  
Thankfully, Allison was found by my brother's, not me. We quit and moved to a house. Allison decided to go to college. So I was a twenty three year old girl with a job at Wal-Mart and had a basement full of survival equipment and weapons. Allison's bedroom was left untouched. The rent was $1200. After a couple months I got promoted and started making $1000 every month as the pharmacy manager.  
I was getting $600 from Allison somehow, leaving me with $400 for myself. I had friends from work and hadn't heard from both my brothers since Daryl left home.  
I saved up for a flat screen that cost $900 for my room then one for the living room and put the other TV in Allison's room. We already had a sectional couch and living chair. Or dining set was just for chairs and a glass table with pretty designs. I bought a washer and dryer from a neighbor who was moving to a house that came with them already. I got another promotion as consumables ZMS now making $1800 a month. I never told Allison when we talked and she continued sending me money.  
Life was perfect. I was happy. I was not practicing with guns or bows. I was talking proper, a little proper. Being girly has advantages and the new friends- boys and girls- are a big part.  
One day, I was sitting on my porch learning how to use my brand new iPhone, when I heard an all-too-familiar rumble come down my street.  
I wanted to see if it was him even though I didn't want him to see me. What would he be doing over here? Once I saw the motorcycle, I grabbed my phone and ran inside, abandoning my ice cream. Surely he wouldn't stop at the baby blue house with the Camry in the drive and ice cream on top of the card table on the porch.  
When it passed, I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God, one of my brother's didn't see me. I would not let my brother screw up my life.  
I was about to go back on my porch when the rumble came back and slowed in front of my house. Footsteps walked up my stairs and to the door.  
Before he could knock, I answered.  
"Hey, big brother!" I said with fake excitement.  
"Well howdy, little sister. Ain't seen ya 'n a while. Where ya been at?"  
"I've been living. Where have you been the last 17 years of my life? What about Daryl? You do know I'm 21, right?"  
"I do now. You sure have been living well, girl. You gonna invite me inside? Ol'Merle is getting cold."  
"I was just going outside. Looks like you'll have to freeze," I say coldly as I walk onto my porch, shutting the door behind me.  
"What is it exactly that you want, Merle?"  
"Merle is hurt that his baby sister is rejecting him like this," he said, speaking in third person, which annoys the hell out of me.

"It hurts Daniella that Merle left his little sister with an abusive father and didn't try to talk to her for another 17 years when he just happened to find out she was living the good life," I said mocking him, angrily.

"Wow, little sister, yur comin' off a little bit rough with ol'Merle. Sound you like ya hate me. You can't be holdin' no grudges against kin girl, Daryl and I are the only ones you got and ya need us," he said, getting serious.

"Get off my porch Merle. You weren't there for me before and I had no one. If you and Daryl are the only ones I got how come my best friend was supporting me and helping me get through the abuse that, that man was giving me and not you. I haven't seen or **your** brother in 17 and ten years. How dare you even come here and tell me not to hold a grudge. The fact that you believe you are a good brother sickens me. So leave and don't come back asking for money or help like I've been trying to do with you," I walk in my house and slam the door, waiting for the rumble of my brothers motorcycle. I get some of my old anger issues back and break a lamp to my left.

After a few days, Daryl is the one to show up at my door.

"**What**?" I say venom dripping in my voice. My happy mood went the window like that.

"Damn, girl! That's how ya greet your brother? Merle was right about you. The life you've been livin' has got to your head, you don't even have southern drawl anymore. I'm your family, how 'bout a hug?"

"How about you tell me what you want and get off my damn porch or I will call the sops. You didn't act like my brother for the last ten years of my life so why would I even act like your sister now?"

He seemed to think about this. I waited patiently, hoping his redneck mind could comprehend what I was trying to tell him. He probably didn't have most of his brains fried like Merle from drugs and drinking.

"I need a place to stay. Merle has some whores over and he kicked me out. I don't have no money for a motel and I can't sleep at anyone's house because a lot of people don't trust me. You don't want me sleeping out on a curb, do ya?"

"Well I guess you're out of luck. I can't trust you and I ain't lending you jack! Goodbye!" I say hastily, slamming the door.

Another knock comes right after I close the door and I groan. Instead of pulling out money, I just decide to let him in.

"You can sleep on my couch. I know where everything I have is and how much I have of it. Steal anything and I will kill you in your sleep."

I fall asleep thinking about that day and the first time I opened up to one of the men, slightly.

**if there are any words that don't make sense I'm sorry I wrote this on my phone and I used swipe and that be buggin' on me. sorry I've been watching a lot of martin. sorry for the hiatus but I'm back in black (no seriously I'm wearing black shirt that says Latina is beautiful) so yeah, **

**peace**


End file.
